November 10, 2017 Communication
Every human being comes into this life with a theme. A theme is a life purpose and one’s life can be described as the process of achieving it. In going through this process, what we experience first is “a life that is reversed”, but then we overcome numerous challenges and achieve the life we truly desire.
For instance, those who have theme of “creative”, they start life with “not being able to express their creativity”. They suffer from not being able to believe in their talent, but eventually learn to believe in themselves and are finally able to feel the bliss by embodying creativity that flows out when overcoming suffering borne by self-distrust.
Mrs. M (a woman in her 30’s who lives in Hyogo) suffered from various failed interpersonal relationships throughout her life. When she demystified her life by practicing the Miross system, she realized that her personal theme is “communication”. We would like to share how she is currently utilizing her outstanding communication skills as a certified palliative care worker.
Life’s theme and the reversed life
Mrs. M said that it was like an illusion when she reflected and shared about a time when she was troubled by her relationship with husband and concerned about her autistic daughter. She discovered the Miross system and started demystifying the relationships she had with her husband and daughter, and began looking at her life in general. At that point, she realized that all of those issues were created by her inner conflicts.
She became free from the crisis of a divorce and anxiety about her daughter which there was no way for her to solve by herself. As she changed, her daughter had many miraculous changes to the extent of overturning the concept of autism.
And “new dimensional communication” she learned through practicing Miross came to be greatly useful in her palliative care work.
Here is an example of Mrs. M using the skills she learned from Miross.
One day, a lung cancer patient (Mr. A) became extremely angry at his family and nurses, causing quite a mess. Many tried hard to calm down Mr. A, but Mrs. M decided to just listen to Mr. A express his feelings without judging his behavior as problem.
Mr. A confessed to Mrs. M that he was afraid of both suffering and dying. He had never expressed these feelings before. Mr. A was also angry because he felt that nobody understood him or even made an attempt to understand him.
Mr. A was able to express his anger and thus his feelings were validated. This calmed him down. Subsequently, he stopped making frequent nurse calls and has been very calm since then. Other patients express their anger and concerns to medical practitioners. When that happens, Mrs. M would put herself in the patients’ position and listens to them by trying to feel their feelings and regard them as her own voice in unconscious.
Sometimes Mrs. M is surprised by her own feelings during these conversations, and the patients respond accordingly. By simply listening to them, the patients rapidly become calm. Mrs. M. who is observing such changes gets healed and the space between she and each patient is filled with a sense of liberation and relief.
That was exactly the kind of “palliative care” that Mrs. M was seeking for – the care that can heal both medical staff and their patients at the same time.
Medical practitioners often have to discuss difficult subjects with patients and their families. They may also feel anxious about responding to questions about death from the patients. There may be a certain sense of helplessness in their inability to prevent physical suffering.
This mental and physical burden is hard on medical practitioners because their primary role is to alleviate the physical and mental issues that patients encounter. Mrs. M used to wonder if anything could help both medical practitioners and the patients.
She found that the “new dimensional communication” that is a central theme of Miross can be used in her field, and clearly recognized that “my life theme is communication”.
She finally passed the exam to obtain the caretaker certification for palliative care, and the hospital where she works started focusing more on palliative care. A palliative care team was established in the hospital and she was given an opportunity to give a talk at the kick-off event. She also spoke at a study session in front of approx. 120 people.
During this talk, she presented her idea of a “totally new palliative care (new dimensional communication)” which will help medical practitioners, patients, and families communicate. Her talk has been well received from many audiences.
Her desire to “create a new medical system” based on her experiences with Miross is continually evolving. Mrs. M says that “life became truly fun after I found my role”.
The time has come for us to embrace our life purpose and achieve our true selves.
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