“Stop Being a Tragic Heroine – Traps of Interpersonal Relationships”
“Stop Being a Tragic Heroine – Traps of Interpersonal Relationships”By Ms. Yukiko Saiki, Salesperson, Japan
“Is your partner kind?”
It will be easy to answer this question.
“Are you kind to yourself, or not?”
How do you answer to this question?
In fact, there is a trap of this world hidden in this.
Abused by My Step-father
When I was in elementary school, my parents divorced. My mother took me, my elder sister and younger sister with her when she married another man. And then mother gave birth to a girl and a boy with my step-father. My stepfather abused both of us in the name of “discipline”. My stepfather would beat or kick us almost every day.
When he abused me, he always said, “Why can’t you do this simple thing?” “Everyone can do this properly!” He always blamed me for not doing well with my studies or not being able to clean properly. Because of these experiences, I started to believe that “I am inferior to other people.” “I am not good and deserve to be punished.” This idea of “I am not good enough” was being ingrained in me. And I hated myself.
Miross— A Totally Different World
I hated my step-father and was afraid of him throughout my life. I became an adult who held on to every “negative emotion”, including self-denial, low self-esteem, a sense of guilt and an inferiority complex.
After getting a job, I pretended to be a “capable person” and covered up my feelings of “not being good enough”. However, this attitude created difficulties in interpersonal relationships. “Why is everything so hard for me?” Out of desperation, I tried counseling, but these only provided brief relief and I never solved my core issues. But just when I was going to give up, I encountered Miross.
I was so struck and intrigued by Miross. Miross was totally different from anything I had experienced before. I immersed myself in the world of Miross.
When I participated in a group session curriculum, which provides peaceful and relaxed space for the group session teacher and the people in the group, I was able to expose my “self” of an “incapable person” to others for the first time. It used to be impossible and it was a moment when I was able to break my own rule. During that group session, I shared my feelings about not being “good enough” or being “incapable”. I felt the teacher and group members simply accepted and embraced it, and I felt healed just by knowing that they did so. That moment of sharing was about recalling my life, and I was able to learn the reason I had to experience such hardships.
I loved my step-father
“What you feel from the other person, you are doing the same to yourself.” I was very much shocked when I learned the system of this reality. I used to feel aggressiveness from my step-father and believed that he treated me as an “incapable person”. However, it was actually that I was doing it to myself…, specifically, I was attacking myself about “being not good enough” or “incapable”. In fact, I hated myself and never acknowledged or accepted myself. I simply projected those feelings on to my step-father and other people.
I learned about the system of this world through Miross, and my sense shifted from a division of “you and me” to “there is only my”self” in this world”. By having this viewpoint, I was able to acknowledge the self and say “I was OK as I am”. After that, the hatred towards my step-father disappeared and I started to feel love instead. Furthermore, I found that “I actually loved my step-father very much!!” When I felt that feeling, I became so overwhelmed and cried so hard even in front of other students.
Paradigm shift in my life
From that day, my life totally changed. By acknowledging the self for the first time, I learned that there is love in my life, and my past was renewed. I felt gratitude toward the hardships I had faced and my attitude towards my step-father softened. If I did not encounter Miross, I would have kept hating my parents, lamenting my background, hating myself, and being a tragic heroine. In all likelihood, I may not have survived.
Miross has provided a huge paradigm shift and my life has transformed into full of blessings!
What did you think about this story? In this 3rd dimensional world, there are “me” and “others”. As a system, Miross provides clear answers to “what is it that you feel from others? What is it that you see in others?” This world we live is based on our relationship with the self. If we are able to understand it, our lives will make a tremendous change like the heroine of this story. Furthermore, every kind of problem in this world will be resolved.