The Truth about Anger
The Truth about Angerby Mr. Yoichi Tsukuda, Dairy Farmer, Japan
We sometimes are in a bad mood, get annoyed or frustrated – and these emotions can be manifested as anger. Criminal offenders who appear on newspapers or TV news may describe this as “it was blind rage that led me to act the way I did.” Sometimes this blind rage causes horrific crimes. Where does this anger come from?
Our family has been dairy farmers for generations in Hokkaido, the northernmost prefecture of Japan. My father started a dairy farm, I carried it on, and my son is now helping me. This may sound like our family are happy farmers, but there was a deep conflict between my father and I for 50 years. However, Miross brought an end to the conflict and changed it to true love.
Dairy farming is a demanding work. I argued with my wife and my father almost every day. Although I tried to improve our business, it kept deteriorating. The more I worked, the worse it became. One time I could not control my anger and I totally destroyed our four cars with a power shovel.
Eventually, I was hospitalized because of a brain hemorrhage. The lingering effects made the hard work even harder, and my wife had to make up for the shortage of labor. I was filled with a sense of guilt and felt worthless.
Around that time, my son told us that he would soon quit his job to help us so I expected him to come back in the near future. When my condition became worse and my wife was overwhelmed with her work load, I asked him to come back immediately. He said, “I will come back home but not because of the money. Why can’t you show even a bit of gratitude?” I was shocked by his unexpected words and could not pull myself together for a moment. But I was able to overcome it simply by applying Miross to the awful situation,
The Root Cause of Anger Revealed by the System of Miross
When I took over my father’s business, I learned that it was his debts that had affected our business. It always appeared to me like he also interfered with everything I did. One time I was so angry that I shouted “Hey, I’m paying back the debts you have created!” After that, I held on to my hatred and swore that I would someday make him ashamed of his actions, which in fact was a motivating factor for me to work hard.
But Miross enabled me to understand the root cause of my thinking. At that exact moment, I felt my anger suddenly disappear and it was replaced by something warm welling up from inside. I was so fascinated by Miross, because, in essence, it is almost impossible for us humans to recognize our unconsciousness, but Miross enables us to recognize it and we can dramatically transform the situations that haunt us.
This experience made me remember something my father had once told me when I was young. When I was born, my parents were so delighted and told our relatives, “We have a baby boy! We finally have our son!” When I heard that story, I thought that my father would be happy if I took over his business at some point. Thus I was able to understand how my son was feeling when he mentioned he would come back but not for the sake of money, as it matched how I felt when I heard what my father told me. Since I understood exactly how my son was feeling, my frustrations simply vanished.
I also realized that I kept working so hard simply with a desire to be acknowledged by others. My illness taught me that that is not the way it should be. I would not have realized this unless I had become so ill. I learned to say to myself, “You don’t have to push yourself so hard anymore”.
Misunderstandings over a Half Century
When I was able to understand my life through Miross, I was able to give my hard-of-hearing father a letter that said “Thank you for giving birth to me”. The next morning, I found a note on the wall with his handwritten message, saying “Thank you for being born.”
The next night, we had a long conversation, and I was able to understand our family’s history and its pattern of repetition. By looking at our family dynamics through the the point of view of Miross, it became clear that even though I tried so hard to be different from my father, the relationship between my father and I was duplicated in the relationship between my son and I. For the first time in my life, I felt that we were able to share everything about our 50 years of not getting along. We talked all night long.
Without Miross, I would not have been able to stop hating my father. Miross has clearly taught me why I felt compelled to live the way I did. Now that I understand it, I’m delighted that I will be able to live as I want. Miross is the answer to all the questions, worries, and problems that we humans have experienced, and it is a compass that guides us where to go next.
Right now I’m simply feeling so grateful for all the people I have encountered in my life.
Because he encountered Miross, he was able to understand the root cause of his anger. What would have happened if he had not learned about Miross? It is very possible that he would have been unable to control his anger and could have become one of the violent criminals we see on TV.