ROSSCO

Reviving a marriage in trouble

October 10, 2017 Marriage

Nowadays an increasing number of people seem to be rushing into divorce. Once a couple stops communicating and cannot understand each other, they naturally feel distant from each other, which can lead to feelings of mistrust. The cause of this discord is actually the underlying conflicts in each of us. I hope that by learning about this case you can appreciate your partner and continue your happy relationship.

Mr. K in his 30s and Mrs. K in her 40s have been married for two years. They fell in love and got married, but upon living together, they eventually focused on the negative aspects of their partner, and their relationship gradually deteriorated. We would like to share how they have been able to overcome their troubling marriage through Miross.

Marital issues result from inner conflicts

Mr. K was an extremely intelligent man who had graduated from Tokyo University, one of the most prestigious universities in Japan. He was irritated when his wife appeared ignorant and emotional. He also disapproved of her concern over what other people thought of her. He did not like the fact that she justified her existence by making herself busy around the house.

On the other hand, Mrs. K was a positive and sociable woman with a sense of responsibility. To her, her husband appeared arrogant and anti-social. To prove his stellar academic achievements, he avoided regular work. She worried that his income was inadequate. She also disapproved of his coldness and the disrespect with which he treated women.

When they argued, Mrs. K could not control her anger and attacked her husband. He resisted getting emotional and so he did not respond. He despised her but did not verbalize this feeling. It was evident in his behavior towards her and she picked up on that. Their relationship deteriorated increasingly.

Generally speaking, it is difficult to repair a marital relationship once it is damaged. But seen from the viewpoint of the Miross system, a spouse is a mirror reflecting the other’s unconsciousness, which individuals cannot recognize alone. When a couple has a conflict, they see what they hate most reflected in the other.

With the Miross system, this couple started to identify and understand the sense of resistance they felt toward each other.

It dated back to Mr. K’s childhood. His father generously spent money for his child’s academic study, but did not buy anything Mr. K really wanted. After a while, he gave up asking his father for anything. He always had a sense of being restricted.

His mother was an emotional woman. He did not understand her anger and she did not understand him. He knew that his mother did not love her husband and was distressed by this lack of love. It seemed they lived under one roof for only financial reasons.

What maintained his mental balance was the sense of achievement that he had as he excelled in academic achievements. He was able to feel superior to others by passing the exam for the most prestigious university in the country.

On the other hand, Mrs. K was sociable and had many friends throughout her life. She was elected to be a class representative and exhibited her leadership. But the truth is that she had to pretend to be a model student who is liked by everyone in order to hide her self-negation.

At home when she shared an opinion with her father, he always rejected it. This made her talk only about things he wanted to hear. She often tried to mediate conflicts between her parents, but nothing changed. She eventually felt a sense of helplessness.

She behaved cheerfully all the time so that she could hide the negativity she had inside.

Both of them had been brought up by parents who did not seem to love each other and they themselves did not feel loved. Therefore, both were unable to eliminate a sense of inadequacy rooted deep within them. In order to compensate, Mr. K tried to increase his value by accumulating vast amount of knowledge, while Mrs. K tried to make herself loved by the people around her.

However, your partner reflects something you hide from yourself. Those who cannot love themselves are unable to genuinely accept nor give love. They felt a sense of inadequacy and eventually came to hate each other.

What made things worse, this sense of inadequacy for love caused the same situation to develop financially. Mr. K was wrapped up in his high academic achievements, but Mrs. K look down on him for his inability to earn an enough income. But in reality, they created this financially disastrous world together.

However, once they understood that they were the same inside, it seemed silly to argue all the time. They began to be more flexible and started communicating freely. Their relationship dramatically improved, which caused a domino effect on their overall situation.

As Mr. K, who used to complain about his work, began to express words of gratitude, he was able to find a wonderful job that suited his qualification and experience.

They have changed so much that they even look completely different outside. When they were freed from inner conflicts, they began to lead their ideal lives. It has also made them more attractive.

What did you think of their story? A marital relationship deteriorates because their own faults are reflected in their partner. It is worth giving a try before considering a divorce. With Miross system, your relationship with your partner can completely be revived!